Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Houston, we have a squirter
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
