Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
