Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
