she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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