The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize