just come out here and I will go home with you...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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