Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
