I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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