so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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