i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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