Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
