Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
