spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
