Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
