So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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