6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
