Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
