Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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