We're facebook friends in real life
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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