1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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