I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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