Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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