i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
