Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
