Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
