the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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