We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
