He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
