I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
