I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
