4 words: hood of his car
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
