I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
