I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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