32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
