He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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