Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she smelled like a LAN party
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Randomize