I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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