Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize