my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
