just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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