The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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