so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
