haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
