I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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