Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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