just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
this just has baby written all over it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
