Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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