She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
