So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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