hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
