when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
