I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
