yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
