so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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