I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
