She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
