did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate all girls vehemently.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
