This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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