weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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