So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
