And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
