I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
