weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
