Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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