I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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